And What Saved Me Today

Publish date: Aug 5, 2019

1457

I’m having a good day -started a bank account it’s been a long time without one

you don’t even know the invisible pressures all around me

and you don’t even know how stubborn I am

tomorrow we’ll find out my dad if my dad has lmyphoma

my mom started the morning with a little meeting telling me I need to move out and work and make money

I wish I was born in a family that talked about art and or science all day

but then maybe my art wouldn’t have been as godot

cause this struggle

this marathon of feeling like today is my last week

is never ending

and all that remains

are the muscles to keep going

I was telling helen its good to keep working without relying on hope

but she was saying there is hope and there really is so much

there is hope for me still

although hope is much like me

tardy and full of promises

I don’t need hope because I have hoped too much though

my work will remain

the words from my mouth that broke me will remain

the weight of existence will remain forever

if I don’t get this work out

if I don’t get these images out

and I’ll suffer for eternity

so while most are out of commission obsessed with artificial values

such as ‘you gotta make money to survive’

I say no, think for yourself

go out by yourself in nature

and communicate with God 1 on 1

and you’ll find out what you need to do

for me in an elevator pitch it’d be

reduce the world’s suffering in the shortest amount of time

and I’m on that path

and right now that means having parents unhappy with me

parents that don’t see the bigger picture

and my failings because I’m not communicating it well enough

but what really matters

and what do you want to do before you die?

tell me that! and then go work at a poisonous place

so you can buy poisonous items for your body

and litter the earth with poison the whole route

and then tell everyone they have to do it too

the world , how humans behave, where the average person’s brain is at, is crazier than anything you could ever imagine

if you were lovecraft, if you were orwell

they couldn’t touch the crazy depths

of the average american

the pleb the commoner the proletariat

I sometimes freestyle about being the king of

cause that’s the world I live in

but even I don’t stoop so low

as to think not my thoughts

as to hold values not by my mind

by my invention

by my intention

and although it hurts those around me

it only hurts the untrained and it only hurts cause they let it

and love, is this what stubbornness looks like?

cause I might be a little adamant

about my philosophy because that’s what philosophy is,

what you live by, what you die by,

otherwise it’s not your philosophy

so yeah on second thought, I’m having a rough day today

justin case

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DARLENE
you know what freddy mehrabian wrote in 015, about the 3 creativity rules on  know knowing and knows:
POLIWAT
yeah what were those three again?
DARLENE
Never know how much you know
only know as much or as little as you need to know at the right time
never be the knowist in the room  
POLIWAT
So judging by this tree and these frogs, we’re looking at two females in a 20 by 20 room with looks like about 15-20 monitor feeds somewhere within three miles of here.
DARLENE
great you predicted something that can’t be proven for 50 years
whether your a psychic or a physicist… what are you going to do about it?
you know the next action, is in the lesson, young padawan!
POLIWAT
only call me that on wednesdays, please! aha what’s the coordinates on the signal at . 3.5 hertz, with the weird oscillation every 7 seconds?
DARLENE
Looks like it’s coming from a building on the other side of this field   
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LADYS
FEM 1 WHEN OUR BRAINS CONNECT
I FIND HER BASE REALITY
EVERYONE HAS A BASE REALITY
HERS IS AT A COMMUNITY COLLEGE THEATRE AS A KID
SNEAKING INTO A THEATRE WITH HER NAD HER DEAD BEST FRIEND
AND THEY SNEAK IN AND TRY COSTUMES AND REENACT THE MANNEQUINS
AND CLIMB THE LADDER INTO THE RAFTERS
THEN THE SECURITY GUY SHOWS UP AND CHASES THEM OUT
THEY HAVE A REAL FUN TIME
THATS THE FIRST MEMORY POLIWAT FINDS IN ORDER TO FIND HER
ALWAYS GO TO THE SOURCE ahahaha.
NEVER RUN FROM THE NOISE
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POLIW.AT! here
alert the town!
tell them to hide your batteries beer women and weed.
guy rides off on horseback
hide your batteries!
hide your beer!
POLECAT is COMING!
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tats why dancers don’t run the world but the people who run the world dance
tats why musicians don’t run the world but the people who run the world make music
thats why politicians don’t run the world cause they’ve been systematically
‘dead and clone’ scenarioed  
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chad
you should do a cover if you want people to hear your original music
mic
ehhhh fine
chad I got the perfect one in mind, we’ll do it together
mic
oh yeah! what song?
chad
Tech N9ne - Fragile (feat. Kendrick Lamar, ¡MAYDAY! & Kend
mic
oh yeah I love that one when they’re all looking emo in some warehouse and when he’s like “I’m an artist and I’m sensitive about my shit yes I’m fragile”
chad
ahahaha yeah exactly
MUSIC CUE: “I’m fragile cover” by ChadMike
(while watching it)
chad
I think our voices turned out better
mic
I love it! Now people might listen to our original music
 chad
yeah right we gotta do this like 1000 times
mic
oh shit you’re right
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my first answer is kill yourself
cause you’re your own worst enemy
you don’t need to ask me anything about creativity
this is a moment of weakness
so kill yourself so you can get out of your own way
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ghandi lennon luther!
at sea are carat sea cursingadasdasd
think
why is no one asking the right questions
what a good question
idk like
how do frequencies we can’t hear affect how we think?  
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h.h
hypothetically I’m not a writer
hypothetically I’m a writer
you know what writers they say about writing? Writing is like getting fucked in the ass by god
hh speaking of god - hh jesus was a tranny with a dirty mouth
do you think all sailors have dirty mouths
all people
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poliwat
show me the childhood of the last queen
(30 seconds pass)
Darlene
uhhh.ok
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oh yeah listen to him cause he knows
what does he know
he knows both sides of the coin, and for some weird
reason chooses to be up on the coin
both ways of the coin
when you’re up on coin
and when you’re down on coin
he knows it both ways of the coin
am I crazy for being down on the coin?
you’re crazy for not knowing the saying
money is the root of all evil
and spending years of your life
talking about the cost of anything
but why is talking about cost bad?
is that so bad?
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HH
am I crazy?
or
are you crazy
you have to be black to sound black?
humans are walking around
thinking it’s racist to speak in a mexican accent
while not being mexican?
these people’s brains have been infiltrated by the nsa
the discrete security agency of the most powerful nation in history thus far.
and the nsa has been infiltrated by an alien race that found and uses the earth for two reasons
A) to provide a computing center for discovering the answer to god
( an ind human analogous to neurons in the brain, of God’s consciousness from the human’s perspective, but it’s actually the individual humans are  AI, and the seemingly infiniteness of consciousness and conscious thought is the computing processes required for calculating the location of god, which is what the aliens want to do  )
B) to learn themselves about how to start civilizations
so they use these devices in order to influence the human society, so that it’s shaped more like a super computer. that’s why we had the industrial age
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Amis and Andy radio shows
two white guys sounding like black guys
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FA
chad
no one cares
everyone
‘we pretended’
no one cares
everyone
‘we never did’
chad
no one cares
everyone
but me
and no one cares
but you
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hh
why do I hate rent?
hh cause rent took the life of Chessy, my 71` vw bus, whose memories we share are magic.
hh cause rent took my martin that my dad gave me on my 21st birthday. that guitar was the most prized and costly possession I owned.
hh cause rent took my mitsubishi mirage
hh cause rent tested my friend’s patience
hh cause rent showed me who believed in me and who didn’t
hh rent killed my laser cutter
hh it wasn’t the rent but hh but if rent was a ghost that was summoned and in a communal wifi board session in the middle of the woods and I called that ghost a pussy hypothetically that would be the reason the rent is the ghost that broke my laser cutter.
hh we all know this phrase, and forget it everyday  
hh money is the root of all evil
hh I wrote that, because I wrote it down just now
hh nothing written is anyone’s
hh all ideas are in a shared soup
hh all artists if they are not posers know this
hh but back to the phrase
hh money is the root of all evil  
hh when did money start?
hh that doesn’t matter
because you know why I really hate rent
cause rent is the reason
I’m separated from my love
rent is the reason I’m living in a tent in my parents back yard
rent is the reason
I regularly work myself down into breakthroughs  
I’m living in a  tent my dad found in an alleyway
cause hh the bible didn’t say money is the root of all evil,
the bible said the love of money was the root of all evil
but
I am highly religious
I worship god all the time
I see god all the time
in everything!
that rock is alive with god and if you don’t see it you’re an insane alien!
I was even blessed enough to
have the experience
of talking to god
twice!
and god never requested that they be worshipped
which is why hh the bible was written by state
hh the bible was written by satan
hh real god wouldn’t want to be worshipped
hh saying its the word of god is satan saying that
hh sorry satan wrote the bible
well humans wort the bible
thinking they were doing it in the name of god
but were acting on satan
hh cause newsflash
I talked to god twice
and god never requested us to worship god
god is all knowing and all loving
god never made that request
if you can think about your relationship to god in physical reality terms
if each human was a neuron in gods mind
and if each neuron was a single cell in gods toe
and if humans were single cell in gods toe
they would be more like the mitochondria of that cell in gods toe
they would be more like the matrix fluid in god’s mitochondria in gods toe
so yeah the bible was written by
great smart wonderful well to do people
influenced heavily by satan
in order to use language
as a barrier disconnecting us
that is why I say break language
master language
there’s no verb or adjective for it!
but more like factor in the weight language holds
on an individual’s thoughts
and then the individual trains on mastering language
by thinking about everything in terms of
dimensional thinking
space thinking
time thinking
idk
and the human trains to learn nmeonically
and the aliens gave me these lines and I give
myself to the aliens
cause a good master knows
exactly when to submit and for how long
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hh when the snake told eve to eat the apple
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hh the best writers keep it private and share only amongst friends, historically
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OS s all the rage int eh 20th century
metaphysical OS s are all the rage in the 21 st century
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kid wzd and the lil woke that could
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earth dies
god loses a toe
(when all humans stop worshipping them)
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hh
religion is invented by satan invented by god,
how does no one talk about this?
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if you hear a eukuele
its an ad
and these are the most important ppsychocical studies
to making an egg {}}{}{}}{}{}{}{}{}
thats the devil speaking in th e name of god
i know lennon was shot for less than this
but I’m sorry
satan wrote the bible
not directly
but indirect
cause newsflash
think of scale in relation to god
and then conclude god never wanted to be worshipped
god never asked to be worshipped
and what you are are the matrix fluid in the mitochondria of a single cell in god’s toe
and the true is your relationship to god is much much more benign
god doesn’t need you to worship them
god never used language to ask you to worship them
the devil’’s main skill is working in mischievous and subtle ways
so if the holy bible was written
and it lasted this long
and there are still wars being fought over it
do you think the bible is the word of god
or the word of satan?
cause sorry
cause god is all knowing and all loving
it would be so convenient if there was such a thing as god’s word
but language is tool too blunt a tool
and my life changing experiences talking with god
involving dialogue but also like a million other things way more important that happened at the same time
language itself is way too blunt a tool for communicating
the infinite love and omnipresence god yields
that’s why the bible was written by satan
well not really
it was written by humans thinking they were listening to god
but it was the devil douping them
and every time
god speaks
a demon laughs
for god so loved the world
the most developed muscle, as well as historically the most common way the devil speaks, it’s as if they’re god
so know you know
because the more you talk the less true you are
and god is all loving and true
and never relied solely on words
in order to communicate
god is in everything
and people are gonna be pissed
when they find out the demons
got not just them
that’s the easy but
but got hundreds of generations of humans
to live act and die in the name of god
when all they were doing
was being duped by the devil
at least to some degree     
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and everytime language is instigated,
it  happens
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changed my pregnant sisters religious beliefs jus tin time for the second kid paul and dad got annoyed cause life too short to be wasting it on talking about religion which was my point in the first place then 3 hours later I missed it religion is nothing but an action and sure speaking is an action but actual religion itself isn’t ever talked about cause there were humans walking around when worship was all encompassing 24 7 in their very souls and all of a sudden the devil came along and said no you should pray to god sacrifice your best meat and give it to god that is always satanic always was always will be god never needed you to sacrifice your best meat and go to church every sundays GODS CHILLEN !!!! in california terms god is chillennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn you need to show you love of god through actions through spreading the light of unconditional love to all humans we all know the saying actions speak louder than words use your actions to speak religion use your actions to speak politics and use talking for play and love and give love all the time you’ll be alright peace ** hits 3 different bongs in a row ** cali philosophy LOL lets just throw it all in cali philo guy lol

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p
can you give me a linguistically analysis of the top 40?
d
currently of the 40 tracks, the three most common themes were ::: :: :: ::
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Don’t
thats the name of the game i los txt thought
I’m chilled that would break many
when you lose a million dollar thought
but when you’re good
that happens every day
be chill and let it come too you
cause voices are a feed
ideas come to you
when you are good to the universe
ideas as to what to make what to do how to think
they come to you
no doubt
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because in a dream the first humans
the first homos pains
they walked around
and worship was in their dna
they didn’t do it part time on sunday
that’s the devil
giving words to religion
in order to subtly and smartly and patientaly dissuade from positive action
that’s why church are set up as therapeutic
a place to recover
and that’s great we need to recover
i don’t know….. ALL THE TIME
but religion is acted upon
because it used to be 24 7 in our dna like it was in our bodies but now…..
for some reason
religion is more of a subscription service
like you pray this much you get this much
you got to church this much you get this much
you give to your community this much you get this much
that all sound like satan crap to me
because language itself
actually steals from
an all knowing
all loving
omnipresent god
I love endear and avoid on occasion
with all my heart
all my desire
all my soul
all my body  
all my mind
I give to them
because I worship by choice
they never asked for it
and I show it
however overly complicated
however illicit
however a conundrum
however plain stupid
all those actions are me
actin on free will
in the name of the all loving
omnipresent being I fell see hear touch sense hear
the moment I wake
when I’m asleep
and when I’m
and the moment language
when you speak to god
there is no refuser from god
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i like what i say when i don’t sleep
i like write i say when i don’t sleep
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hh
w am i
where
am i how do I get to the end
can’t remember where th cabin was
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its cute lucky we have matheticisnas
who tell us its in a system
and even aliens  fall in a system!
perfect so there’s over to the chaotic system
and the aliens don’t intervene
if you expose you’re vulnerabilities
to the utmost degree
cause then you’ve become a use case
cause then they want to study you
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Im going to die
but my OS is a methodology for fighting that
did you just plant the idea in my head the voice in my head that I will die soon?
stupid superior alien race, you know what happens when you play god
we alive now
humans all the way
open source or die
everything except the nuclear codes
the rest are
zombie batteries for aliens
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helen
hh
hh the most awkward people
are the best musicians
and hh I’m the king of awkward
and hh I’m not even a good musician
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I use poliwat to come bk down
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hh is in every accent
valley girl, british, american
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holy shit I’m a tweak
I’m sleeping in a tent
i sleep outside in a tent every night

i sleep tousled
in in order to

my tent is my hyperbolic time chamber
it allows me to think well
being outside every night
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f 1
what tie is it
f2 the seq starts at 437
f1
oh god, we out here.
i’ll grab coffee you want one?
f2 I’m good I don’t drink coffee   
what’s he thinking
it looks like visually he’s thinking of the mire and macro at the same time
it looks like linguistically he’s trolling us
he knows we have him

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all my life could fit in a box I miss myself missing you my laptop missing a screw

all I owe could fit in a box I miss myself missing you my laptop missing a screw

all my time could fit in a box I miss myself missing you my laptop missing a screw

is this affirmation i repeat is its my words is it my affirmation

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kX2es7XGsuA
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kX2es7XGsuAhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kX2es7XGsuA
 what are his thoughts
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hh i see god every day

i see death every day

hh Im living in a tent for my art

hh my art is about to kill me

hh I need help and have burned all

hh help me so I can help you

hh all my art is free for all of life

hh I’m already over 9,000 hours deep on my own art

hh I want to kill myself every day

hh I see death in everything

hh I see god in everything

it’s very beautiful

hh I think I was born in the wrong time
hh who is asking the right questions?

hh everyone’s out of commission

hh where did culture go?

hh look at me I’m white

hh look at me I’m black

hh look at me I’m asian

hh look at me I’m mexican

hh look !!!! LOOK AT MY RACE

and make assumptions….. please

we are all humans

and hypothetical house is the only place ballsey enough to say

its a safe space nigga

hypothetically no one race owns any word

hh you don’t need to be mexican to have a mexican accent

hh you don’t need to be black to rap

hh you don’t need to be white to love classical

hh no race owns any accent, word, land, any of it

hh we are all humans and human centric rhetoric is all we need

hh listen to paleblue.fm and listen to real humans having real conversations

hh stop repeating lousy subliminally commercial and manipulative rhetoric

hh stop talking about the price of everything

hh that isn’t helping you

hh go out in nature by yourself

look deep inside

hh invent yourself

and hh write your own religion

mine is human centric first

and this is hh, the last safe space on the netWebs

hh it’s the last safe space nigga

hh stop using divisive language

hh use language that observes

humans as human first

hh and race, accent, demeanor, social status

are all wonderfully unique attributes

of a human

stop speaking as if there’s a race war

because that puts you in the war

and start speaking as if we’re all human first

that war is for children

who grew up and forgot how to play
make music

pick up your trash and get your shit together

you’re living in a fucking tent

you owe everyone so much money

you owe me

so hh stop working on art

no one cares

hh stop making music

no one listens

hh work for money

cause ideas are everyone’s but money…..

is the root of all evil

hh is what the bible said

but hh satan wrote the bible and satan actually wrote in

Timothy 6:10 “the love of money is the root of all evil”

which is evidence why satan wrote the bible

and god is in everything even the bible so its confusing I know

but only satan would write that the love of money is the root of all evil

cause if it was god’s word, and there is no such thing aside from love -
it might be money is the root of all evil

stop buying cars

stop mindlessly telling people artificial values that have been infected subliminally in your mind via commercials

stop sucking so much dick

at life

and eat some pussy

every day like me

and you’ll see

that living in a tent

ain’t so bad

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